XIX -Hand you're dealt

You know the situation where a person tells a story about some misfortune they've been through or about some disorder they have to deal with. Then there's always this jackass who plays the "Oh yeah? I have it much worse!" card. First of all, people seriously need to stop doing this for the sake of empathy. This guy/gal is opening their feelings to you and what you do essentially is belittle.


Secondly, this must be the worst topic of all to make a competition out of. I for one, enjoy being in good health and having a decent life with no major tragedy points. Of course I would possibly be a more interesting person, but is it really worth all the pain? Don't get me wrong, it's completely fine to discuss these things, but when you start dismissing the person you're having the conversation with, that ain't cool.

Quoting my father, next time someone gets an urge to tell me they struggled through work when their relative died after I feel depressed about a break-up, the best way to feed their selfish pride (assuming this person is trying to belittle your pain) is to do the unthinkable:


            "Actually, you know what? I feel a whole lot better after hearing that you're doing worse than me, thanks!"

I fell from a second floor window when I was, like, six.

If I may jump onto the bandwagon for a short while, let me tell you about the day I fell out of a second floor window into a recently filled flower bed when I was like six years old. I remember the moment quite clearly. I was playing Disney's Hercules on the PlayStation one (I even remember the damn level I was on) and saw a fly trying to get through a mosquito-netted window frame. It was summer, so the window was wide open, ventilating the room I was in. The curious and sinister child I was, I walked to the window and tried to slap the fly. That's when it happened. The whole fucking window frame went flying!

People keep telling me that I propably leaned on it hard enough. But let's face it, at the age of six, I propably weighed third of an average adult. It's possible that only the net got torn and the frame itself remained intact, but believe the shouting child in me when I swear; it happened just the way I recall it! I blacked out during the fall and still remain completely in the dark regarding how I landed. I've never been closer to death (excluding every time I'm sitting in a moving motor vehicle). I guess it was my stroke of luck that the flowerbed right beneath the opening was filled with soil, considering the whole thing was a work-in-progress at the time.

I ended up with a twisted thumb, an ear infection and a dirty face. Perhaps a pro tem fear of open windows. Needless to say, I couldn't enjoy the portable kiddie pool my parents bought me while I was practising those flips. I still remember the pain in my left ear everytime I tried to dive underwater.

Let's be fair...


...because life isn't. One of the most difficult things for us western people to learn and internalize is that life isn't fair. It's easy to think so because of the way we're raised (at least in my vicinity). Sorry to exclude any reader from a developing country, take this as a letter of appreciation. Where I live, everyone are treated equally and "unfairness" is something that's frowned upon. If your sister gets a candy, you get one too or neither one of you gets any; stuff like that. Nature itself can be a major bitch in demonstrating how life isn't always (and rarely is) fair. One of my friends got diabetes and will die within 24-hours if not treated accordingly. Another one's got a bad back that needed a surgery on. I recently met a person who is literally half-deaf. I, myself got a speaking disorder, this stuttering (or stammering, however you wanna call it). You just simply play with the hand you're dealt with.

Le- le- let me tell you about sss- stuttering.


According to Wikipedia, stuttering is described as a "Speech disorder in which the flow of fluent speech is disrupted by involuntarily repetitions, prolongantions, blocks and pauses of syllables, words and phrases." A causation for the disorder is still unknown and speech therapy is still the number one solution in coping with it.

I used to attend these therapy sessions for some two or three years as a small child. (as I recall it) While it set a certain foundation to the methods I use today to minimize it, most of the remedies eventually developed from within, as a trial and error. I'm characterized to stop speaking when a block occurs and begin tapping my leg, chest or snapping fingers in a rhythmic fashion to get back in track. This is something they never taught in speech therapy. You see, the only situation where stuttering is never present, is when singing. Rhythm is the key.

A few times I've been asked whether it affects my ability to write. I kind of see where they're coming from, but it has absolutely no effect in my literary abilities. In fact, when I was young and I had little to no means of controlling my speech, whenever I was having difficulties in speaking, I might have written down what I needed to say and have my mother say it for me. Out of all the people I know with the same disorder (A cousin, former classmate, brother's colleague), I'm the one having the most difficult time controlling it.

In the end, it's all about how much you pay attention to it. Much like an internet troll continues to ravage as long as you keep feeding it. Therefore, in a sense, stuttering is a psychological disorder rather than a physical one. Don't ask me, I have no damn clue.

Literature, my passion!


Recently, I've caught up with reading books. I was the kind of kid who was indifferent about literature. It just didn't interest me. At all. Since last fall I've been reading a lot more, in the form of visual novels. Even then, if you were to come to me with an amazing and engaging book, it'd be unlikely for me to ever pick it up.


Then it happened, shortly after new years when I picked a visual novel recommended by a friend. "Higurashi: No naku koro ni (When they cry)". After reading the first two chapters of it, (roughly about 22 hours in total) I was completely awed. I'm easily impressed, so it's not such a big deal. But when I decided to have a peek on the anime of the same title, it struck to me. Now I understand what it means when people say "book is better than the movie".

Without diving further in, the flame for literature burst open like a bonfire. Perhaps the first book in my life that I read without any external pressure (school or something like that) was a detective story written by my father back in 1989. It's translated title is "In the shadow of Manhattan" and is about a hundred pages long in A4 paper format. As a regular pocket book, that would be more than two hundred pages. I read most of it in one day and was really surprised to have accomplished such a deed.

Why I'm telling you all this is the latest book I've been reading. It's the "Kansainvälisen seikkailijan opas" (translated "Guidebook for international adventurers") by the famous Madventures duo, Riku Rantala and Tuomas Milonoff. The book is mostly about sharing tips about traveling around the world, mostly in the countries of Southern-Asia and Africa, as well as South-America.


For the comfortable Finn that I am, it's a major culture shock to realize what it's like down there in the third world; especially if you haven't seen it for yourself. For example, you need to really stand your ground if you're traveling there as a tourist, because nearly everyone's out to get ya. (A minor exaggeration, but increased caution and healthy sceptism is in order) In India it's not uncommon to find dead bodies in Ganges river meanwhile in Finland, for nearly every dead person, a funeral is held and there's people to honor your memory. Most people haven't even seen dead bodies outside of funerals.


When you grow up in an environment like this, it becomes an obvious thing. When you're not that familiar with the rest of the world, it comes as a great shock that our quality of life is indeed, much higher than in those poor countries. I'm not highly educated and might sound naive but that's only because I am. And yet it remains pretty high on my bucket list to visit these third world countries and travel through their cultures.

The Google Translate Treatment(tm).


You know how reliable Google Translate is when you in make it figure out long sentences? How about when you make it shove an essay through a couple dozen languages and see what happens? Don't you worry, all of these questions have been answered below.


Welcome to a quick reminder course on how to give someone CPR. No need to thank me, you know I'm always here to back you up; to represent shared knowledge and self-improvement!


First, create first aid.


Verify the condition and the personnel. Make sure this area is safe, press your shoulder and yell "What's wrong with you?" Make sure that people need help.

Call 911. If someone needs help, call 911 (or call 911) and send the Drug Enforcement Administration to someone else. (If you do not have genital herpes, call 911.)

To ride a horse. Kneeling on his back, he raises his head slowly to lift the skin.

Adjust your breathing Listen carefully for 10 minutes. (Sometimes breathing does not breathe). Help for cardiopulmonary resuscitation in hospitalized patients.


Red line


Click on Place the arm in the middle of the chest. Use a weight of at least 2 inches and less than 100 per minute.

Look deep into the fresh air. When the head is slightly raised, the skin cuts the nose, puts the mouth in the mouth and disappears. Put them in your mouth. Press Exit twice and press.

Note: if your chest does not stop before the first inhalation, open your head before breathing. It ends when the bacteria are not in the air. After all the pressure before breathing and eliminate it when you see it.

Continuation of the heart In addition to stress and breathing difficulties, such as breathing from outside or from a hospital or medical staff.

Note: Schools can not be added because the weakness begins to increase if the school is dangerous or angry.

Great, now you know exactly what to do in case of an emergency. Next time I'll be there to give you another advice about dating. Have a good one! until next time. Love ya!

"A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new." -Albert Einstein


What you should listen to right now to feel me: DK - Mili
And while you're feeling me, check this out: world.execute(me); - Mili
This one is also really good: Ga1ahad and Scientific Witchery - Mili







March 2nd, 2018

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