Q4 -Do I live in memory?
I live in the now. Every triggering sense makes me feel alive. I can list every detail without trouble. The text I just read and that cup of water I just drank. Even the conversation I just had with Teppo, it's all so clear. Yet I let time pass and suddenly all that remains in form of a memory. The little details become hazy and fade into the oblivion. Why is that?
From a scientific standpoint, our brains are forced to let go of the irrelevant information. That way we don't become overwhelmed by the overwhelming amount of knowledge/memories.
Are you familiar with "Last Thursdayism" hypothesis? In short, theory goes that everything that's happened in the past is fabricated. In form of a memory, there's nothing tangible to hold on. So, the people supporting this hypothesis could argue that, by the title, they came in existence last Thursday. To make matters more complex, there's nothing you can do or say to prove otherwise.
I've thought about the present and past for a long time. An awful long time. What separates this moment and the last. Over the years, I've come to the half-baked conclusion that the past... doesn't exist? Let me explain so that even I can understand.
I used to look out the window, waiting for my dinner to heat up and think, "Just yesterday I was having so much fun at X and now it's just a memory".
Fast forward a couple of years and the thought has morphed into "In just a couple of hours, even this moment will be a memory".
Sure, it sounds depressing and highlights the aspects of me not knowing how to enjoy myself. I improvise this line of thought to, let's say, a dentist appointment. I know it's going to suck when I go there, I know it's going to suck while it's happening. But when you apply the ideology of "It will be just a memory in a short while", suddenly it becomes much easier to endure. No matter how much it hurts, it will be just a memory. And before I know it, it really is just a memory. So yeah, there's both sides of the coin.
I'm not implying I support last Thursdayism, but benefit from their ideology, nonetheless. I mean, time is just a definition made by humans to comprehend better.
You know, I regretted writing this and still kinda do. Everything sounds much more logical in your head. Thanks, love ya.
"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." -Dr. Seuss
August 17th, 2018