Q6 -What does my notepad look like?

Whenever I come up with something, I write it down. Doesn't matter whether it's a poem, quote, video/blog post idea, rant or a short story. Google is the same. Whenever a question pops up in my head, or something I need/want to learn about, I Google it. As a result, it is common for me to have around 300 open tabs on my Safari browser.

This is a collection of memos from my phone’s notepad. Some of these stretch as far as the beginning of 2017. The only alterations I made was to collect all of these together, blur names and fix some obvious typos. 



I’m sitting in an empty room, walls filled with various prohibitions and cautions. There’s even a camera in the corner of the room, monitoring my every motion. I rise from the chair and dream myself away. 


I’m now on a large field. I start to walk forward. Seems the fields never stop, but that doesn’t concern me. I feel free. I walk forward until I find a door in some woods. I get inside and find myself in front of a desk; a work desk. Sitting down, autonomously, I began filling the forms.




If I had to rely on people to keep contact, I’d have very few friends. Instead, I make it my own responsibility to keep contact with those who matter to me. I don’t think I’m not important to them. I’ve just discovered that most lack the energy and willingness to take that step of staying in contact. 


”If you want it done right, you should just do it yourself.” Living by this rule brings acceptance. However, I wouldn’t be lying if I told you how nice it would be if I got the initiative for a change.




For some reason, the exact moment I should be sleeping tends to be the moment when my brain activates at full creative capacity. At night, I get the urge to contact all the people I’ve lost touch with, brainstorm a vast range of ideas for new videos, writings, anything. At night I also get an inexplicable need to study and learn.


Basically, I try to live my every moment with efficiency. If I don’t happen to be tired when I go to sleep, my brain occupies itself with thoughts, to the point of me never becoming tired. First step forward would be to suppress the need to write all this down.


God, my sleep schedule sucks.




If you’re about to respond with just a ”yeah” or a thumbs up to a conversation, just say nothing at all. Serves the same purpose and makes it clear to the other participant that you’re not in the mood for a chat.




Rather than simply learning how things work, learn why they work. Now, I misused the word ’simply’. By all means, it is much simpler to learn the principles behind a function and open opportunities for you to applicate that knowledge further. For if you can’t make use of the knowledge, it becomes futile. This is why I prefer teaching my elderly relatives to understand the question when prompted ”Do you want to update your antivirus?” instead of pointing them directly to ”Yes”. That happens sometimes.




If I were to ever write a review entry on Higurashi, remember to mention the slooow transitions in the first chapter. That shit was creepy.




Keeping things organized; If you pile up your stuff in order to keepsake them for possible future use, the point itself is lost because you won’t dig through the random pile of junk even if time needs.




A thought I've been having: How to stop defending your habits and lifestyle.


"He's too busy playing games to find a woman" "you play too much" "Your life is just games games, do you even care?"


Oh boy oh boy, how many times I've heard these before. Actually once, I think? Still it has an impact on a person's mentality. And no, I don't care if I play "too much" video games. At least, I shouldn't. That's just the way I am. 


I know I write controversial stuff in which not many can relate to. Nonetheless, I feel that it needs to be heard. 




Lifetime expectancy is higher than it's ever been before. With medical research and organ replacement procedures, it's possible to maintain a healthy human body for a really long time, statistically. 




Being the small town boy that I am, highly crowded areas and department stores with lots of products often get me overwhelmed to the point I lose focus and feel dizzy.


Bargain hunters should realize that it costs them more to catch bargains of items they don't even need.




It's a matter of perspective..


-Is it a fall or a bad landing?

-Do you lose things rather than not remembering where you put 'em?

-Do you fail or learn what doesn't work?




I tried to apply to an electronics maintenance company, which was located inside of a larger business and "amusement park" like complex. After trying applying for a couple of days, every day the people there seemed very weird.


At first I remember myself buying my own lunch from the shop. Then later, when I was partly considered as a part of the group, an older woman who I frequently talked with started offering me everyday the shop kitchen food. We used our key cards to open a door which led to a huge straight stairway down below to employees "common rooms" I think, where we ate. Strange stuff started happening everyday there. I woke up when we were going down the steps and the woman behind me yelled in fear. I pointed my flashlight to what seemed like a bloody object on the stairs. The staff consisted of a younger man who I talked with when I tried to apply, and also handed my "proof of qualification" work to. Then there were a couple of other dudes working there as well, but I don't remember them that well. I was told many times to stay away from there but I insisted to have a chance there. It all began from a persuasion of a friend. 




It was a genuine christmas, little John had received a present from Santa. John comes from a family of poverty, where everything is taken into appreciation. Having to come by with so little money is nothing to sorrow, though. It relies on the seasonal changes and temperatures. Alas, human body doesn't function in the cold and may shut down entirely. Winter is the pinnacle of difficulties. The coin of astronomical movements has two sides, however. Staying warm is rather expensive in the region. Like a prize of endurance, every Winter is followed by warm and comfortable Summer. John loves the Summer for a very specific reason. That's when the locusts awake. 


John is an average person, John is nothing special. The reflection John views of himself is full of perspectives. John appears happy to the world around him.


As you may have notices, John and his teddybear are just metaphors.




"You've done nothing wrong. You're a wonderful person and sympathetic and clear but I just don't feel good." Those were among the last words she told me.




I read this in a script somewhere, but imagine if you were a page in a book. Depending on the content, you could be interesting to look at, or a bore. You cannot change what you are. Worst yet, you only get a couple minutes of daylight and then be confined to the darkness until someone decides to read through it again.




Entry #22 -Edge of the world


Living on the edge of the world can be an isolating experience for one born and raised at the heart of modern civilization and efficiency-centered government.


People there don't think likewise. It's as if time has stopped.




I love the metric system, just love it. It's clear, sensible and easy to learn. Why I love it may be partly because I don't live in the US, Liberia or Myanmar, the only places on Earth that still uses Imperial measurement system by default.


Among these global measurements include 


So, I had a thought. As a contrast, why is our calendar so fucked up? Think about it. 


A year has 365 days (366 in a leap year), built of 12 months, or a bit over 52 weeks. 

A week has seven days in it and a single day consists of 24 hours. 

An hour has 60 minutes, much like a minute has 60 seconds. 


Where the hell is the consistency?


When you get down to milliseconds, it all begins to make sense, for 1 000 milliseconds make a second. Then again, milli-measurements are part of the metric system, as are kilo/mega/giga/tera/peta/micro and nano, to name a few.




Dear diary and all that:




First day of the Savo-biking-tour with my father. Rode about 99 kilometers from which about less than forty were total pain for my father due to not eating properly before leaving. Rented a room at "Kyykerin Kartano", an inn in Outokumpu. Built in 1917, it had a vintage feel to it and not intenting to spoil the next day, the breakfast next morning was absolutely delicious.




First hitchhiking experience. Driver was a Russian man with no mutual language skills. He knew where I was going though and the ride was quite flawless despite the fact we couldn't speak with each other.




"The fee for public transportation in Finland is too expensive", said the Korean fellow.




Turku was a mighty fine place to longboard in.




My sleep schedule took a fall for the worse since I slept for like eleven hours and woke up to have a couple hours of idling before having another driver's ed lesson behind the wheel. Met a cousin at the discgolf-course and threw a couple of courses since they were almost at the end. The whole evening's been really quiet, tried a couple of games but playtime fell really short. Began writing this thing here.




First time woke up at 9am but silly me snoozed 'till midday. Bought some turpentine and thoroughly cleaned my longboard, bearings and all. Made a deal that I'll forget her debt of 40,00€ from pills and beverages if I could get her longboard. She didn't seem that interested in it anyway so she didn't hesitate to agree on it. Discussed about a near future meeting with a former colleague. He doesn't know I'm moving away. Short drive through town. Bought Voez for Switch and I'm loving it thus far. Started writing this diary again, time being 3am at the moment. Gotta sleep soon, tomorrow we got a long drive ahead of us.




Whoopsy hey, couldn't leave today because of the blizzard outside. Oh well, organized some papers and wrote another segment to awdjournal today. Also, I sent a message to her today which made me extremely anxious. Worst yet, she never responded.




I regret to announce that my sleeping schedule is officially fucked. I had to make myself rise from this hammock at 12 o'clock. One of my main principles consists of never snoozing past noon. Had the clunkiest haircut of my life with the device my brother praised to be the best. Alas, it's apparently designed only for cutting facial hair. Met a friend today and had some civil conversations. We were supposed to go to the trampoline park tonight but the plan fell short due to being late. Maybe next time. 




Today I got to meet A friend’s young son. An adorable four-year old and most importantly, energetic as heck. No wonder he is so tired and preferably not taking guests when his son is around. I decided to cancel my couchsurfing requests due to the alert time falling so short. Thought it would be unlikely and inconsiderate to stay the same day you sent the request. Messaged a friend if I could stay at his place tonight, but apparently he lives in Heinola instead of Lahti, ah well. Tried to hitchhike to Lahti, first without a sign and then with one. It's unbelieveable how not a single one stopped to pick me up. Wrote a blog post about it in my frustration. Got to Kuopio for 10€, which is incredibly cheap considering the distance. Lahti was nice if it wasn't for the rain I had to stand for an hour. Now I have one city more that I've explored a bit, feels good mon. Although it's nice to be home, I'm also sad not being on the road. 




Put a new style of listing to order. Instead of having separate notes for 'oral hygiene, vitamins and daily exercises', there's now a single note where each of these matters and more will be noted. As simple as typing a serial of numbers based on the things you've accounted for. I might regret this someday, though. 




That was mine! Sequel


1: person1 is walking down the street and spies a giant bottle of "just regular cola" on a table. He attempts to steal it for himself and drink it. Time passes. Person1 is lying on the ground after drinking the whole canister of soda. Person2 looks intimidated over person1 and points to the canister, trying to point out it was Person2's can. Person1 looks kind of sorry and gets up, handing out the canister to Person2. Person2 takes a handgun out of his jacket and points at Person1, which scares him off. Person2 starts to run after person1.


2: A running scene, perhaps person1 slipping over and struggling to get away.


2.5: person2 from the previous edition sitting on a bench holding a can of soda, watching as the two run past him. But just as person1 passes him, the soda can disappears from his hand and he is frustrated.


3: A scene shot from the side where person1 runs away from person2, but person2 is now suddenly driving a car and is shaking his fist towards person1 with a bunch of other people in the car as well.


4: Another run chase scene, dealing confusion to viewers as in what was the car scene all about? Basic running scene.


5: A scene filmed backwards where person1 slides up a hill in attempt to get away quickly (with what superpower?)


6:person 1 in exhausted from all the running and thinks he has gotten away. This is not the case as the camera turns around, person2 is actually right behind person1. Person1 makes a run for it with his last remaining strength.


7: with nowhere left to go they end up at the edge of a cliff. Person1 is too tired from all the running that he just collapses/faints. Person2 is still fueled with rage and starts to pick up person1.


8: A shot from down the hill, pointing upwards to where scene7 happens. You cannot see person2 but person1 (a doll dressed as person1) launching from the top of the hill, being thrown overboard by person2.




Can a desire for learning and studying become an uncontrollable addiction?


Languages / musical instruments / science / psychology / practical skills / electrical science / cultures / geography / historically fundamental discoveries and events / programming languages / graphic design / film direction and effects / social behaviours / philosophy / literature and poetry




Sometimes I get asked why I don’t write on old-fashioned paperback. Truth is, thought moves way faster than your pen. Typing instead of writing is much faster and leaves less room for missed monologue.




The thing I hate when someone's got a problem and doesn’t even attempt to fix it. ”Well, it just happens to be this way, not much that I can do about it.”




I hate to lie to people but thank god I'm free inside my head.




There are two things that you should never have to pay for; Drinking water and the use of sanitary facilities.




Look, there's a bag of tea bags inside this bag. Let me get a bag for them.




I hate myself for a few stupid traits. I am a mean person by heart.




When your arm gets chopped off, a papercut doesn't seem as bad.




If you want to say something, better to get it over with than remain in oblivion.




I want to be a persona, not a sheep.




When you read something, which voice do you read it in?




If you want it done right, you should just do it yourself.




Adults are just overgrown children with obligations to follow and pride to protect.




My clock is in another time and I want to be productive.




Two grown-up men are enjoying alcoholic beverages in a carousel, talking about stock markets in Germany.









October 5th, 2018

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